


A beast of burden.

by mogigraphia



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mogigraphia/pseuds/mogigraphia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Louis pet-sit for Harry, and Louis is highly unamused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A beast of burden.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hopeletgo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeletgo/gifts).



> Hey howdy hey, this is for [Clara's](http://www.paynerprise.tumblr.com/) birthday, I'm sorry sweetheart, I meant to write you porn and this happened somehow instead, I hope you like it. :) Also, special thanks to [Natasha](http://www.wearecities.tumblr.com/) for giving it a beta, your dud loves you. Also also, the beast in question looks like [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/22306272@N06/6740184821/in/photolist-bgBd88-bgBdqg-dimGjv-9Lxa5S-9jv4CW-efgeRm-bgBd9R-ayLRmY-7ZgKGf-dqo4y1-7LxvSy-bYzxfh-8wmqbo-9Lxa9o-bvBZbE-7T51Gs-7T51BJ-c6h9wN-ekyTQb-9zLV8i-9FNnX6-efLeyr-bvBZ6s-bJwKLg-bJwKPz-bvBZ7J-7V3d4T-99nf2x-8FjfYF-cGNsDm-bChcN6-c5tVd9-9zF2wc-7QNgJV-9H8pNv-9DJ4EY-dgc8hZ-brP1QW-9oVXTA-ekbYYy-cqB2mq-bTeubB-8gx2RK-apY24h-96Hiy3-8koemH). Happy reading, hope you enjoy!

When Harry had gone on one of his wanderings he liked to take when they had long breaks (which really meant going to LA or New York and doing the city equivalent of beach-combing and poking at dead jellyfish), Louis hadn't thought much about it, other than wishing him the best and telling him to bring him back the most ridiculous souvenir he can find. So when he comes home and finds a small kitten on the back of the couch, kneading happily at the blanket Liam's mum had made for them last Christmas, Louis can't even say anything. He just stares and listens to Liam banging around in the kitchen, the sounds getting closer.

 

"I've completely arsed up the pasta, think some take away is the only thing to be done now," he says, staring sadly into a saucepan, and then glances up at Louis. "Oh, close the door behind you, Audrey Hepburn'll get loose." Louis blinks, and slowly reaches behind himself and closes the front door in a way he hopes communicates the word 'explain'.

  


"Who does the thing belong to?" Louis asks, somewhat sourly as he stares at it, and Liam gives him a funny look.

  


"It's Harry's new cat, I told him we'd look after it while he's on holiday, and I know that I told you about it."

  


"You most certainly did not," Louis protests with a grimace, locking the front door and tossing his keys into the 'keys go here so Louis doesn't lose them' fish bowl. "I would remember if we'd agreed to having a little furry mouth to worry about." Liam stares at him for a moment, then shakes his head, evidently deciding to pick his battles as he steps back into the kitchen.

  


"Do you want to get a Chinese? Lo Mien sounds really good, and we can get some of the crunchy-"

  


"Excuse me, I don't think we've adequately summed up our previous conversation," Louis interrupts as he follows him into the kitchen, giving him a vindictive poke in the armpit while he's grabbing the stack of take away menus, sending them scattered over the kitchen tiles. "How long is the little beast going to be with us?"

  


Knowing better than to say anything about the fact that he's now on his hands and knees picking up all the folded up and slightly crumpled menus, Liam sighs a little.

  


"Since when have you had such a problem with pets?" He asks, rooting around under the fridge for the last one, making an irritated noise as he swipes his fingers underneath the edge and finds the uncooked macaroni noodles Louis swept underneath it last week because he couldn't find the dustpan. "You had a dog when you were small, didn't you?"

  


"S'different," Louis says, knowing he's sounding sulky and about five years old, but something brushes up against his ankle and he jumps about a foot in the air. Looking down, it's the kitten, butting it's little furry head up against Louis and giving him hopeful big kitten-y eyes. Louis gives it a considering look.

  


"Don't. Kick. It." Liam says slowly without looking up.

  


"It's disturbing how well you know me," Louis says mournfully, making a face and gently pushing it away from him with his foot as Liam straightens back up and offers him the menu for the little Chinese place around the corner.

  


"Just be kind, and you and Audrey Hepburn can deal with two weeks of not maiming each other," Liam says while Louis is flicking through the crumpled pages, though he looks up in disbelief.

  


"Audrey Hepburn?"

  


Liam gives him a look that says, 'I know.'

  


*

  


"You're really telling me there wasn't anyone else to leave the little demon with?" Louis complains as he lays upside down on the couch, feet hanging over the back of the couch and his head brushing the rug. The demon in question is currently curled up in her cat bed by the fake fireplace, sound asleep. But Louis isn't going to be taken in by her pretending not to be hellspawn.

  


"Literally no one Lou," Harry explains, his deep and meandering voice sounding tinny through Louis's phone as he tries to balance it on his chin. "Mum's out of the country, Nick's allergic to cat dander, and Gemma laughed me off the phone."

  


"I wonder why," Louis mumbles, narrowing his eyes at the cat and wishing he could glare at Harry in person. "Are you sure I can't persuade you to come back any earlier?"

  


Harry makes a noise like he's actually thinking about it, and Louis starts to feel guilty for a split second before Harry says, "Nah, don't think you will. Got a really good feeling about Williamsburg. See you when I see you, yeah? Loveyoubye!" It's a good job that Louis's instincts to protect expensive items are greater than his anger, because otherwise he would have thrown it at the wall at the sound of the call ending.

  


"Stupid Harry with his stupid animal and his stupid hipster holiday," he grouses, throwing it onto the couch and crossing his arms over his chest. Of course, the little beast doesn't even stir.

  


Of course, the cat is perfectly well behaved for the first three days, mostly just sleeping and eating and politely relieving itself in the litter box. Liam tries to use this as some kind of evidence that Louis should just 'calm down' and 'stop staring at it like it's burnt your house down'. Louis knows better. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  


Liam and Louis are cuddled on the couch, watching Iron Man 3 (the cries of, "Please, please something else!" from Zayn and Niall during tour months remembered fondly) and growing continually sleepier. Louis is blinking slowly, fighting against falling asleep sitting up while Liam scritches his nails against the tiny hairs at the top of his neck, when he hears it.

  


"What's that noise?" He mumbles out, squinting a little as he tries to place it. And then he does. "Oh fucking hell," he says, suddenly wide eyed as he shoves up off the couch and tears toward their bedroom. Flicking on the light, there it is. The cat Audrey Hepburn, huddled over making the most horrific noises Louis has ever heard, and then barfing all over their creamy white carpeting.

  


"Oooooh, that will leave a stain," he hears Liam say behind him, having been drawn by Louis's wordless cry of despair.

  


"Why is it doing that? Make it stop, is it ill?" Louis says, a worried grimace on his face as he half crouches down next to it, not wanting to get any closer.

  


"Don't know, my sisters had a kitten when I was small, but I don't really remember much about it other than how much it didn't like me," Liam said, frowning a little as he looks at the puddle of sick like he's not sure what to do to make it go away.

  


"For god's sake, go, go get the um, something to scoop it up with," Louis says, waving a hand behind himself, and thankfully Liam is more in the interest of cleaning up the mess than dissecting his vague requests because he takes off for the kitchen immediately. Which unfortunately leaves Louis with the cat.

  


"Are you going to be ill again?" Louis asks it, brushing a cautious hand down its back. It gives him a forlorn look, mewling sadly, Louis thinks, and Harry is largely a pacifist but he's fairly certain he might be quite cross with him for killing his cat. "Ought to take you to the animal doctor then, is there an all night animal doctor?"

  


"S'London," Liam says as he brings in the newspaper that neither of them had bought (which meant that Zayn had left it there) and begins to methodically scrape up the puke. "If there isn't an all night cat doctor, don't know why we live in the city."

  


*

  


Louis is not cuddling the damn thing. He's really not. It's just that, he's in this tiny little office that smells like a dog with digestive problems, and there's only a sleepy man with a drooling brown Boxer sitting across from them, the room so small they're nearly touching knees, and well. It's moral support, for both of them. And he's petting behind her ears because it is so late, after all. They're guilt scratches.

  


"Alright Mr. Tomlinson, your cat will be just fine," says the cat doctor, who's so tiny she only comes to Louis's shoulder. In fact, Louis is fairly certain he could pick her up, which is saying something.

  


"Not my cat," he says automatically, but she gives him a mysterious smile.

  


"I've heard that one before," she says, and he decides not to question that in lieu of hearing the diagnosis, or rather, lack thereof. "Her only issue is that she has a hairball her body is having a tough time breaking down. They sell cat food, treats, whatever method you choose, to supplement that. Once you get her going there, she'll be just fine."

  


"Scaring me for no good reason, definitely Harry's cat," he murmurs at her, and if Liam were around, he might tease Louis for sounding more loving than scolding as he runs a hand down her back, relief in his smile.

  


Of course after that, the damn thing is on him nearly all of the time.

  


"Goddamn it," Louis grits out, resisting the urge to toss the stupid animal across the room when she sneaks across the back of the couch and bats at the side of his face. He picks it up and turns it toward him, narrowing his eyes at its furry little face. "When Liam gets home, I'm going to make him to help me hide your body," Louis tells it menacingly, for all the good it does him. Audrey Hepburn just bats at his nose and gives a tiny mew.

 

"Really, I am," Louis promises it, poking it in the forehead. "I'll have you made into a hat, and then I'll give you to Harry for Christmas, he'll love it, it'll be incredibly twisted."

  


Liam chooses then to come home, and ruins all of Louis's villainous plans by crowding him up against the cabinets in the kitchen and kissing him stupid, so Operation Davy Crockett falls to the wayside. For the moment, at least.

  


*

  


"Make it go awayyyy," Louis whines, flopping over in bed as he tries to block out the sound of the kitten making incredibly sad noises outside of their bedroom door. Beside him, Liam is on his stomach with his mouth hanging open, snoring just a little, and Louis really cannot understand how he is sleeping through this.

  


"Liam, Liam, hey," he says, shaking Liam's shoulder until he stirs.

  


"Unless it's about ten in the morning and we're about to have wake up sex, I'm not going to care very much about anything you have to say," Liam says without opening his eyes.

  


"God, I really did ruin you, I want stick-up-the-bum Liam back, at least he would have done something about this damn cat," Louis pouts. He tries to ignore it, hoping that if he waits it out, the cat will stop trying. But his jaw clenches tighter and tighter with every pitiful meow, and then it starts to squeeze a paw under the door, scratching hopefully on the underside.

  


"Fuck it," he says finally, ripping his side of the blankets off of himself and stalking over to the door and slinging the door open hard enough for it to bounce back off of the wall protector. The kitten automatically scurries in, leaping up onto the bed of the bed, and Louis follows it like he's approaching the gallows. He flops face down into bed, and falls almost immediately asleep.

  


When he wakes up, sleep grit in his eyes and mouth and reaches over to check the time the lockscreen of his phone is himself, asleep with Audrey Hepburn perched on top of his head, but that's honestly par for the course at this point.

  


Really, Louis has decided that the thing probably has subliminal mind control at this point, considering how the rest of the day goes. He's on the couch, texting Zayn about coming round so they can have a night in with something greasy and Serious Robert Downey Jr films, starting with something called A Scanner Darkly that Louis isn't feeling too sure he'll enjoy as well as Zayn does, when the kitten nuzzles up to him, climbing up onto his stomach and settling down in a curled up puff of fur.

  


Absently, Louis rubs his thumb under her chin, smiling a little as he feels her tiny throat vibrate with the force of her pleased purr. He scrolls through the wikipedia article for A Scanner Darkly and wonders if it wouldn't be possible to get Zayn to go for Tropic Thunder instead, when Liam lifts up his feet and sits down on the couch beneath them, reaching his hands down into the crevasse under the arm to attempt to find the remote. At least, until he spots the cat on Louis's chest.

  


Louis looks up, and sees the slow, slow smile that's spreading across Liam's face, and looks down to where his index and middle finger are rubbing at the fur underneath her tiny collar, and abruptly freezes. The cat looks up at him, nudging her nose against his hand insistently. Liam raises his eyebrows, looking down at the cat, and back up at Louis's face.

  


Pointedly, Louis tucks his hand under the back of his head and going back to playing with his phone, though he can still feel Liam's eyes on him and see Liam's smile beyond the screen of his iphone.

  


"I hate you, and you smell, and you give the worst foot massages," Louis grumbles, wrinkling his nose and pursing his lips. Liam laughs as he rubs Louis's right instep.

  


*

  


"Thanks for keeping an eye on her lads, it really means the world," Harry gushes after having given them both the souvenirs he'd gotten them in Williamsburg (a set of vintage Batman pez dispensers for Liam, and the picture of a gigantic dime store carved wooden cowboy for Louis that's being delivered later, perfect gifts, the bastard), and to Louis's credit, he just gives Harry's arm a shove.

  


"Just make sure you actually like, speak to me first next time?" Louis says, giving both of them a pointed look.

  


"Right, of course," Harry says with a placid smile, and Louis resists the urge to kick him in the shin as he picks up Audrey Hepburn out of the armchair and cradles her in the crook of his arm. "I'll be off then, I'll see you on...Thursday? I think Thursday? Not sure when we're supposed to get into the studio. At any rate, I'll see you when I see you," he says, easing out of the door, and then closing it behind himself.

  


Louis looks at it for a moment, and sighs a little as he locks it.

  


"I should tweet that he's going down the street with a kitten under his arm, there'd be mass hysteria."

  


Liam gives him a soft look. "I know, I miss her too."

  


"Fuck off, Payne."


End file.
